I know you mentioned you talked to her about the issue already and she gave you a pretty crappy response to you reaching out. But instead of hiding things or dropping cues, why don't you just be up front with her about it again?

Reassure her that you love her but even if it's not important to her (which it should be, being her husband, you typically do want happiness for the other) it is to you. Why do you give give her oral and she makes it seem like a chore to give to you? Tell her it makes you unhappy. You can also tell her it will probably be an ongoing issue if she doesn't want to reciprocate or atleast she can make it seem like she's enjoying giving the times that she actually does. You also mentioned counseling and she dissed that too. This sounds like a pretty easy fix if she were just willing to work with you and listen to you.

Sorry op. I know to some other readers it may sound silly, but I can really see why it would be frustrating when you're reaching out to your wife and not getting much back. I would try to talk to her again, like a sit down serious talk. If this is going to be a deal breaker in your marriage, let her know. If you still get nothing from there, well..

Good luck op