Haven't been here for a while but feeling called back...always a good vibe around this sub. I'm just going to bitch a bit, feel free to ignore.

I have been studying for the bar. This is the second time I am taking it, I failed in 2011 and found I was pregnant in the same weekend. So I took the long way around, it is hard financially and with a kid, so I really fucked up by failing. Since I started studying we were robbed, I was in a car accident and now my mom is in the er. I have been singing my kid who has a barking cough to sleep for an hour and a half and she was sick all day so I got no studying done. I'm a week behind where I need to be with about 3 weeks to do it all in.

The thing is, I have been practicing law since I graduated, I have fortunately been lucky to work under other attorneys, I do the same things they do except go to court. Studying this time around is different, this makes sense to me now. I want this bad and I don't know that I can do it again because I have a toddler and a limited budget. I have to figure out how to make it work, because I will pass. It's just frustrating because I know life doesn't stop for these things, but can I get a little fucking break right now?

I have worked so hard for this, I was homeless just a few years before graduating college and getting into a decent school, during school my mother in law died and 5 months later my father, both died very unexpectedly, my dad was only 53. I walked out of con law because they were blowing up my phone, in the hallway I heard the ambulance. It was one of the most traumatizing moments of my life. Two weeks later I stunned my professors, and myself, by acing my exams (the school wouldn't give any leeway).

I got a fellowship but then I failed the bar. The nonprofit was going to keep me on, but then I couldn't take the bar again while pregnant, it seemed like a wrong thing to do at the same time. I did freelance work and somehow top lawyers wanted to hire me, I worked on issues that are right now in international news. Have been working for legal aid now, which is why I started this stupid career choice. Every day at work I talk to homeless people, battered women, abused kids, people with nothing. When it gets too much I cry it out in the bathroom and I go right back into the fire, because I want to help people, so fuck me right?

Sorry if you wasted your time reading this, but that was a good rant for me.