Not sure if what my boyfriend (21) did to me (F 20) is considered abuse.

Alright, this ended up way longer than I thought. I rarely post, and pretty much only in the aquarium sub. Please really take the time to read, and PM me if it'll make you more comfortable.

I don't know where you're at, but in some states, if you get a restraining order or emergency protective order (or something, not entirely sure what, check with your local law enforcement or maybe even a lawyer if needed) (side thought, a lawyer might be best to consult with, not sure what type though, someone else might. Cops frequently don't know laws like this) they are REQUIRED to let you out of your lease. It might not be super helpful now, but it very likely escalate to that if you stay. Look into the it. Seriously. Even if you think you don't need it, it wont hurt to know. If that law isn't valid where you are, a restraining order can keep him away from you anyway. If you can't get one or are worried about not being able to afford rent, just leave anyway. Worst thing that will happen is you get evicted and/or end up with bad credit. All a better outcome than ending up in the hospital or worse.n

It's very concerning that he refuses to see his part in what happened to you. Best case scenario, he didn't mean to hurt you. But he did and should have been concerned that hurt did by accident. My boyfriend is 19, I'm 21. We've had our share of problems, but he very clearly knows it's not ok to so much as raise his voice to me anymore because it's very upsetting to me, let alone cursing at me. I don't know your background, but never settle for "it rarely happens". It shouldn't EVER happen. Also, I am in no way blaming you, but once he started getting aggressive and angry, you should not have followed him. He is abusive. That includes the yelling and cussing at you. He obviously has no problem with treating you like shit, and following you will only make it worse. Believe me, I completely understand wanting to have an immediate resolution to an argument or fight, but Ive learned there are times where it's best to walk away and let the situation calm down, then come back. I am I'm ABSOLUTELY NO WAY saying its your fault he hurt you. I really think you need to start figuring out how, not when, you are getting him out of your life. I think it would be best to do this as quietly as possible. Don't be alone with him when you leave. If needed, call the cops for an escort. Maybe pack together an emergency go bag with spare clothes, some cash, etc and put it somewhere he won't notice that you can grab and run with if it comes down to it.

I sincerely hope you can think, and understand that this is never acceptable treatment from anyone, let alone a significant other. You need to leave. He intentionally put you in harms way. He knew you were not buckled in and intentionally slammed on the breaks. You're lucky all that happened was a couple bruises. Think about it, no abuser is going to admit they are abusive. This can only get worse for you. leave. And seriously consider therapy to learn what is and is not acceptable behavior.

/r/relationships Thread