Not OP but have some thoughts to share. The adversary holds the keys to death, Jesus Christ came that we might have everlasting life in the kingdom of God. I don't look at death as a punishment because I know thanks to God my spirit can look forward to everlasting life after I die. I think we're here to learn and grief is a part of that. It sucks, it really really does but is one of those things we probably will never understand why we had to go through it until we meet God ourselves. If you want real answers to your questions though, the only answer is to pray. God promises to reveal his mysteries to us but the catch is we have to want to know and we have to ask.