We are very similar, except only in my darkest moods do I wish I didn't know what I know.

As far as advice goes, I'm probably not going to have some really helpful words except to be good to yourself, and make yourself rest and eat proper nutrition, even if you have to force yourself. Take time away from research if it becomes overwhelming for a few days. If you don't, you can be susceptible to depression, and that just isn't worth it. Steer clear of drinking also for the same reason. I do live in a state where cannabis is legal, and partaking occasionally when I am stressed out is a good thing. It can help a lot at times, otherwise I would probably have an ulcer by now.

It is a rather lonely road, and I know what you mean about feeling kind of like an insider when you hear others speaking. Most people only pay attention to broadcast news, so they rarely know anything beyond talking points and headlines. It makes for a heavy heart, and I feel that as well. But even with my heavy heart, I feel somewhat glad (although that's not the right word) to know some of the inner workings of our world, and not completely disconnected from it all, as I once was. I never was one to care about TV, pop culture or sports, etc. so I suppose I've got a curious nature. All I can tell you now, is that since you've already taken that road, go even further and become active in some or any way. It's the only way this fucked up world will ever change.

I decided long ago that if asked about my feelings, I won't hesitate to speak freely or honestly. People need to hear alternate views, even if they are outside the norm and the whole thing is uncomfortable. Become even more informed about a topic you're passionate about. Then later use that knowledge to promote change, and I'm not talking about just voting. Write a letter to the editor of your local paper, call your senator or congress person even though it seems weird the first few times. Question authority, demand answers. Your small action can reverberate in ways you had not anticipated. Since you are already on the road less traveled, make the most of your journey through this crazy life.

"May you live in interesting times." Chinese proverb I think. I think about this quote all the time, and often wish that I didn't live in interesting times. But in a way, we get to witness it all. As Carlin said, "When you are born, you're given a ticket to the freak show, but if you're born an american, you get a front-row seat. Some of us get to be observers, so I have a notebook and say 'did you get a load of that?' (whistling)."

So, I guess my advice to you is go watch some Carlin. He was a genius, and has helped me a lot.