Nobody will see this, so I thought I’d tell you that when I was 12 my dad and I were walking through a field in Chechnya when he stepped on a landmine. Before I realised his body was torn into several pieces and launched up in the air.

I was torn, devastated and grieved for years, my mother and I grew close and she became very protective of me. Drove me to and from school, did everything she could for me, it was nice. But I knew deep down she was suffering

When I was 17 i was getting bullied a lot at school, people used to pretend to stand on land mines and “blow up” in front of me. Eventually I decided to get fit and hit the gym, after about 6 months of going to the gym after school every day I was quite muscular especially compared to the people who were bullying me. One day some kid did the landmine thing in front of me so I hit him, he went down and his brother came out of nowhere and punched me, I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air