The paradoxical psychological effects of lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD)

Okay, story time. I've told this before, but it was a long time ago. Long post incoming. TL;DR at the bottom.

I, during about a 2 year time span, consumed over 250 hits of LSD. 150 of those were in the first year, and I purchased in excess of 350 hits during those two years. My dealer and I (a high school friend) did the math, since I was a regular customer with a regular purchase. I won't go into the specifics of the use, but it was varied. An example: I once drove a friend and I around in my Lancer smoking a 1.5 foot bong and tripping on 2 hits. High school was a wild time (side note; I also did mushrooms about 30ish times before, during, and quite some time after the LSD use)

Anyway, I didn't come here to talk about my long, strange trips. I came here to balance the good and the bad anecdotes.

When I was taking LSD, I had little to no side effects. Once I stopped, I developed HPPD. It wasn't that bad at first, the initial month that I discovered I was hallucinating without any psychedelics in my system for many days was not a scary one. I put it off to my extreme use and moved on. The hallucinations became more and more severe, though. I had to stop smoking cannabis, since it would give me heavy visuals and disorient me far more than usual. I, for about a year, never had a moment when I wasn't hallucinating to some degree. Objects constantly breathing or subtly twisting in on themselves, visually static surfaces such as rugs developing tides and waves, soft auras around my instructors, and words/numbers lifting off of pages and settling again like anxious birds. It went from occasional to constant, and for a while I couldn't escape it. Driving became dangerous, classwork impossible, and social gatherings went from fun to horrifying. It took the better part of 1.5 years to control the symptoms, remove the association of hallucinations to cannabis, and get back to reality. I did this without help, mostly fearing I would be put in an institution if I told anyone (I have a cousin who was at Woodstock and is now schizophrenic, I feared I was following in his footsteps. He sends my grandmother inscrutable letters, and so much of it looked eerily familiar).

After I got it under control, there was a period of time that I felt more mentally healthy and alive than I'd ever felt. It was just like the typical after-effects of LSD or Psilocybin, but stretched across a much longer timespan. I had almost no social anxiety anymore, my major depression vanished for a while, and I was able to focus and remain attentive for much longer than before. I really did feel rejuvenated and my quality of life shot up. This was relatively short lived, only lasting about another 2 years. Now I'm essentially back to normal (about 7 years after I first used). I've taken it semi-recently and had no trouble afterwards. LSD, for me, had been a way to look at myself and the world from an outside perspective. I used it like therapy, and constantly sang its praises. However, it's a drug. It's not a therapist and it's not some otherworldly key to fixing your problems. It's a chemical that alters your brain for a short time. It's not an answer, and people who tell you so are either delusional or assuming that the LSD did the work for them. Ultimately, what fixes you is you.

I know, full well, that my overuse was the catalyst for my problem. LSD didn't do that to me, I did. I also know that, if I had followed a similar pattern of use with most other drugs (legal or illegal), I would have experienced far worse consequences. I know people who still use frequently, people who use every once in a while, and people who don't use at all. There's not much difference to who they are and how they solve problems that couldn't be attributed to their personalities or environment. If you want to do LSD, you should. Be careful (Set and Setting!), and remember that most of what you see/feel/think is through the filter of a brain on drugs. If you use it right, it can be beneficial, but so can damn near anything else, so don't fall into the trap of putting it on a pedestal. Get something beneficial out of it, like any other situation in life, and enjoy the ride.

TL;DR Took a lot of acid, went kinda crazy for a while, fixed myself. LSD is not a magic cure or personal therapist, it's a chemical with positives and negatives. Anyone saying otherwise is wrong.

/r/science Thread Link - journals.cambridge.org