Well, reading this and your other replies, I think the obvious question is...
Who are these Good Pickup Artists? And where do I find them?
Do I google Pickup Artistry? Oh wow, you don't wanna google it. First link, its some tips... first tip: neg at least 3 times. Second link, first 3 paragraphs are about how many bad experiences they had with pickup artists before they found out there was some good advice. Third link, its 32 PUA giving their best advice, and its 'peacocking' and 'dont make excuses like "she looks like she wants to be left alone"'.
Its just so much easier to find the (for lack of a better term) Dark Side of PUA than the Light Side. The Dark Side advertises. I think they have cookies. The Light Side? They are on Page 2 of Google. Nobody looks at Page 2. I don't hang out with PUA at all, but when I go look at it for some reason (like someone asking me "why do people hate PUA?") I don't dive all the way to Page 2.
As for the terms... you may not hear the terms, but you sure hear the ideas. You went straight to a defense of "kick em to the curb." It wasn't even a defense like "well, moderation blah blah blah don't let them abuse you", it was "if they don't meet my strict standards, I kick them out". Again, relationships are not the goal of PUA... its the Pickup, not the Carry.
Plus, like you said, PU is frustrating, and many become bitter. The good ones, the ones with Game, nobody realizes they are Pickup Artists (at least until its too late, like the coffee shop guy. The bad ones make a name for themselves, get outed, and give everybody their general impression of Pickup Artists.