I posted this before too. But my older sister didn't take it, though my parents learned their lesson from her for me.
She didn't know anything. In her middle school she was quiet and hadn't many friends. At this time our parents were really conservative and sheltering FOBs from a Muslim country, so they thought letting us go out with friends after school was super liberal of them at the time. They were also a little violent. Just so you know, they've evolved a lot since then, but this was our life back then.
This is her story. My sister in her first year of hs met some kid in our neighborhood who asked to come to her place. This is the first boy who didn't bully her. She was excited, but had no idea that boys even had dicks. I kid you not she didn't know. She'd heard of sex but didn't know what it constitutes. She heard of rape but just knew it was forced sex, which again, didn't know what that is. Didn't even know what a period was until she told our dad about it who took her to mom.
So she tells my parents the next day she was raped. She was really scared to tell them, but at this time in our life she was super afraid of God and told my parents everything, even told our dad about a sexual dream she had bc she didn't know who to talk to and she looked up to dad most. Again he was mad uncomfortable and shooed her off. So this is her now, telling my parents she was raped, not knowing fully what rape is, but knowing something happened last night she wasn't comfortable with.
My dad screamed and started acting out. She immediately took it back, crying and apolizing. She simply denied it to them after that, saying she didn't realize what rape was. But she had some idea, so she thought she had to tell them as she tells them everything and the transition into realizing her sexuality was really shamed by my parents. Weird bc they didn't give her a means to learn on her own but also shamed the fuck out of her. Parents decided ultimately to rather believe was clueless than believe she was raped.
She told me later the boy was kissing her and she wasn't crazy about that. I didn't mention this in my last post but she did tell me privately after the fight that he pulled out a thing. And she freaked out and asked him to go. I think he had explained to her what it was. I think she thought by seeing it she was raped, or the kiss was raped bc she was scared (excited, then scared, and then horrified). I hope it's true that all that happened, that he didn't then actually pressure her. But it's extremely possible that is what happened. I was too young to be the most understanding, I just saw everyone freaking out. She didn't want to talk much about it by the time I was old enough to understand.
I really wonder but it's so long ago and she's so past it. I tried asking a few times and she said she's put it behind her and doesn't want to talk about it.
My parents put me through sex ed after that incident, luckily right on time for me. I went on to have a boyfriend my first year in high school and learn my parents were extremely oppressive. My sister left to a distant college and was inempathetic to my situation, and she basically avoided the whole family for years on and off, trying to make up, not getting on, then leaving again, all while I was stuck there. Unlike my sister I felt no need to tell them anything because to them I was just a porcelain doll to be maintained, so I snuck out to do anything. Only allowed out with girls only, luckily I had a nice group of girls who came over a lot so my parents believed I'd be with them 24/7. I hated my parents and planned not to keep in touch once in college.
Then my parents had me apply to a really prestigious long shot university and I got in and they didn't let me go to the one I'd wanted to, but I knew they were right that it's best for me. Then depression struck as I started trying really fucking hard in school and was sucking my way through for years in this super competitive school with open reviews for public shaming.
I really fucking needed my parents. I hated them but they were so incredibly supportive now that I was on my way up in the world despite my self worthlessness. Tried talking to my sister about it all. She said she loved my letter and would write back. Never did. Broke my heart. I was suicidal at that time. Parents took my attacks though, especially my mom, who was always more empathetic to my situation than my dad or sister. She just dealt with my hate for them for years, listened to me, kept saying she was so proud of me, loves me, never meant to hurt me but made mistakes, yknow. I realized they were the only ones who were left for me. And I started to have a lot of reasons to get stronger at everything. My sister was still off for a few more years. Turns out she was going thru similar stuff on her own. Didn't wanna talk to us about it, she had boyfriends instead. Jumped from one long term relationship to the next, ultimately being about 5 guys in 10 years. Was never single for more than a month. We only just started getting close again this year when my boyfriend and I happened to get jobs in the town she was in. Slowly we are learning about each other again, trying to be civil, I had trouble not resenting her for leaving me alone with my at the time mildly abusive parents and never being there for me in general. I always wondered if the "rape" had to do with it or if she just grew up to be mad selfish. But her last relationship she just got out of recently seems to have really changed her in a way that she's trying to be close with me again and prioritize friends and family over relationships like she'd been doing since she left. She did happen to find another guy (yeah, within a month again) but this one she's trying to take slow. Idk how she gets these guys to fall in love with her so fast, it's really impressive. But with this one we all hang out and get along and the antisocial tendencies are gone so things feel healthier all around. So it's been a long journey for my family.
Sorry about the text wall. I often reflect on how far people come in life. My sister came a long way from being that God fearing totally innocent and uninformed girl from our youth. She still is the funniest and most creative person I've ever known, and she has a strong presence that engages everyone in ways I never could. It's crazy how much changes and how much doesn't.