I grew up as the middle child in a high income family and the only to resemble my father more than my mother. My mother remarried after the divorce, which meant I was the fair, blonde stepchild in a family with natural tans and chestnut hair.

My siblings voraciously devoured any financial resource available and my parents happily fed them. At 16, they got sports cars for their birthday. I mowed lawns and bought a rusty pickup from my cousin at 17 so I could drive to a retail job. My siblings wore new clothes and I wore hand-me-downs although I was bigger than both brothers. My older siblings earned no college scholarships, so my parents paid out of pocket for them to fail out of uni. 20 years later, one of them is still attending classes on my parents’ dime.

When my guidance counselor recommended I talk to my parents about college, the first question from them was how I planned to pay for it. I crossed my top choices off the list and went to a lower tier school where my partial academic and athletic scholarships covered over half the cost. I blew through my savings in the first two years making up the difference and couldn’t register for junior year until I caught up my account. I got realistic, quit sports, and took on another job to keep things moving. That fall, I imploded under 15 credit hours and two jobs, and took a gap year to save.

After a year working two low-wage jobs plus any side gig I could fit in, I was nowhere near saving tuition for even one semester. Enter student loans. I relied on these to get all the way through graduate school, and I entered the work force as the Great Recession hit with TA and intern as my most relevant experience. Nevertheless, I worked a series of jobs where I was underemployed before, and after 4 years, I landed one at a highly competitive firm that used my abilities.

I earn a good income now, but am so laden with student loan debt that my net worth is negative and I live austerely to get out from under it. I could never afford a family or retirement.