Your brain is probably exhausted with the never ending mazes of images, spirographs and thousands of trees of legs running round inside your mind. It's a never ending tunnel of nonsensical illusions and can cause delusion and confusion. Wires, ports and thoughts of words in ancient languages and symbols are all plugged into different sockets..too many to count...then the massive over surge comes if!...if you're medically diagnosed with skitzophrenia sleep paralysis will be a pretty regular thing to experience as people living with the condition find it hard to fall into a deep natural sleep without drugs/meds as they dont trust anything thats true and of normal reality around them especially when the judge from downstairs swaps with the one from upstairs. The occult becomes 'the' main cult.
Maybe feels like sometimes are cheating on the devil when dancing with God and vice versa. Every mad moment is debunking what the present is to the past or to the future. Making it a mission to decode life's secret hidden symbols and messages that skitzophrenics believe only they will crack and beat in the system as the message was only chosen for them, adamant it's the perfect system they discovered from another world, a world thats their own. Spend hours of each day pomdering the unknown because its away from normality. Normality is evil to some, pretty scary at first and it's hard to relax before sleep because of the anxiety of this occurance ....your afraid its going to take you in your sleep... medication does contribute and also a belief or a viewing into anything unknown to the natural working human eye before sleep will trigger sleep paralysis ...in that semi state of consciousness and vivid dreams,images flashing through the backs of the eyes, crazy dreams occur if the mind is deprived of healthy natural sleep....
Please.....Don't be afraid. You can be in control. You have got this. Be brave and just know your life is worth living. Skitzophrenia is not a Mar. Its a gift. You can see the unknown and think beyond any normal human brain or eye can see. I hope you realise that you are very lucky to have a creative mind and one day it will definitely bring you some good advantages.
Do you like to draw or write anything of any sort? Maybe document what you are seeing. Instead of being afraid, study in depth. It may give you an insight of how much of a talented individual you really are. Or an understanding into maybe what's at that other side of the mind. Introduce to the world who ever else you feel you are or can be. Don't be ashamed. There's nothing to hide. Please embrace who you are and never be scared. There's a method in everybody's madness it just sometimes takes a little while to find. Don't give up.
even a movie before bed can set the weird and wonderful world of the shadows and sleep demons offs ....think at somepoint at least 75% of everyone everywhere, with skitzophrenia or without will experience sleep paralysis at some point in their life. Maybe lack of sleep, drugs and stress (or all three)people with epilepsy are also more prone to experiencing this too, just the subconscious part of your brain going into overdrive because it needs to shut down for the night...instead of going on standby.
If you need a chat or just a little laugh. I will talk shit to you 24/7 and do my best to cheer you up! We need you in this world.
And we're all cursed in one way or another!
I'll share a few times when I've travelled to places people don't know I've been because I didn't dare admit it back then coz I felt like an absolute fkin loonatic. Now I don't care. You. Me. Everyone else. Same heart. Same bum-hole. Brains are wired different but we wouldn't be who we were if we weren't that little bit different eh.
Chin up. You have a purpose my friend.... Life :)