Growing up my mother always made it out to me that we were incredibly poor. My cousins were VERY well off and always got whatever was the hot new toys. I never got a new toy, unless it was a birthday or christmas, which were never what I asked for lol sounds stupid, I know. I use to stay up at night, completely and totally upset because I didn't know why I had to be poor. Didn't help that those cousins would constantly make fun of me for 'being poor'.
After years of my mom telling me that they could never afford any of the toys that I asked for, even for birthdays or christmas (the illusion of santa was not prevalent in our household) I decided to walk around the neighborhood knocking on doors, asking if I could walk their dog or mow their lawn for some money.
I worked around the neighborhood from the time I was 9, walking dogs and mowing lawns, to make myself money to buy toys with. Life was finally good. I even saved up enough money to buy myself an old dirtbike for $250 that I fixed up with the help of my grandfather when I was 12.
But then something strange started immediately happening. My younger brother (only by 2.5 years) started getting the same toys that I was having to buy myself. Once again, I was told that we were too poor to get two of everything, and that my brother felt left out because I had money to get these toys and it wasn't fair to him.
So imagine how the rest of my childhood went.
I worked and had buy myself a car and pay for the insurance. My parents bought my brother 4 different vehicles and paid for everything. Claimed he had the rest of his life to work.
Now, time to sign up for college. Get accepted into a few schools, nothing crazy or too expensive. Parents flip out, say they aren't paying for anything, they don't have any money. Say I have to do it myself. So I sign up for classes at the local Community College. Still living with my parents, so their income counts against tuition and whatever grants I may be eligible for. No worries, we're poor as fuck, I'll be able to go for free. Take the financial aide stuff home, mom fills it out in secrecy because their financial situation is, and I quote, "none of my fucking business." She took the papers up to the school and turned them in herself so that I could not see how she filled it out.
Turned down for any sort of grant. I go into the school to find out how that was possible. I personally, at my supervisors position (I was 19) at a Truck Wash, made too much to qualify for aide while living with my parents (I was making almost $14/hr). Not to mention I found out that my dad was bringing home $150k a year and my parents had almost $300k in savings, according to the financial aide person, who told me to either pay for it in full myself or convince my parents to pay for it.
So I grew up thinking we were poor as fuck, and it weighed on every mother fucking decision I made, my brother grew up knowing how much money my father made, and was bought everything. We're completely different people. He's a spoiled piece of shit that just turned 26 and has only been in the job market for 3 mother fucking years. He's never moved out of my parents house, have never worked to buy himself anything, never went to school, fuck he was even allowed to graduate high school sporting all Cs. I was beat with a leather belt if I got Cs.
Being tricked into thinking that you're poor is just as bad as being poor. What makes me the most angry about all of my mother's bullshit, she just did what was best for her wallet and fuck how it screwed with me.
When I was 23 I landed my dream job, moved away, and was making $40k a year salary. My parents CONSTANTLY ripped me to pieces about "all the more money" I was making and that no one would ever love me unless I got a "real" job and made "real" money. I got depressed and fat (285lbs!!!) to the point that suicide crossed my mind.
I hate my parents. I'll never have kids and if I do, I'll NEVER fucking treat them how I was treated.