So proud of you for quitting! Through my 2 year stint dancing with the devil, the thought crossed my mind many times-“what if I end up with a surprise pregnancy? What will I do??” I too took on a side job to help pay for my habit bc I’d taken so much from my family, we got to the point we would miss paying bills on time, even had our water shut off twice in the last couple of months before I quit. I neglected my health and couldn’t even take myself or my kids to the dentist for a year. I started pawning things. Oh gosh it was such clusterfuck nightmare of a life. The first day of my final wd and I was starting to feel bad, I had a package waiting at my local ups hub that I didn’t have enough money to get a cod for. The package I had been expecting to arrive that day wasn’t going to bc of bad weather, and I had a cod for that. Anyway, I was panicked, the kind of panic only tia abusers can begin to understand. The thought crossed my mind that maybe I could somehow grab some money from the cash register at the gas station and then go get the cod to pick up my package. Thank goodness I still had my wits about me enough to realize how that would be the worst decision I could have ever made and I didn’t attempt it. Then I went home and my friend told me to dose the gaba and trams I had, with me not knowing they would help so much, had I known, I wouldn’t have panicked at all. 45 min after dosing and I couldn’t believe the difference...that was when I knew I was finally going to kick it and be free from the chains that held me down for so long. I also thought death was the only way out and would wish I would get in an accident or something so I wouldn’t have to continue living like that or face quitting. Life is so much better now and I still can’t believe all that I put myself through.

Congratulations on being free!! :)