I don't think the entire world is against me. I have great supporting friends and family. Some of the world is against me and my values though, and there's no use trying to deny that. You say I've bought my ticket and yeah, I have, but just so you know, none of my crimes are crimes I regret. I could've avoided prison time if I had paid my fines, but they were for crimes that I felt strongly for; I chose not to pay the fines because I felt like I had done nothing wrong, and thus the fines were transformed into prison time. But it's all cool, I accept the fight. I'm scared, but rather than live in fear and choose submission, I choose to stand my ground, to buy my ticket as you put it.

And you're right I haven't put the time to earn a skill level high enough to make me confident about facing the guy. I've been living an easy life up until the time I got beat up, I didn't really think it would be something I'd ever have to deal with. You might imagine that after getting beat up, I've found the motivation to take my exercise seriously. Up until now my exercise habits have been motivated my vanity and I've been lazy, but now for the first time I'm taking it seriously. Time is running short though for my next test. I don't have money to roll into a club for now, so I'm trying to schedule training sessions with friends. I can do pushups and go for runs at my home ofcourse, which I am already doing.

Also, you say you're going to be real with me and you still go with suggesting therapy? Do you really think one can talk themselves out of every situation? That if I just express some empathy and rainbows all around, I will avoid all attacks by all kinds of people? My diagnosis on my attacker is "a sociopath", a vengeful at that.

But yeah, I guess I could use a few more ego checks still. The guy tried to make me do his chores, and I declined, so he beat me up. I don't want to give in to unfair treatment, which is why I'm still wasting my time trying to show you how wrong you are with your attitude. This is not helping either you or me, but here we are, both unwilling to admit defeat.

Fuck this is useless. I realize now that I didn't come here for advice really, but for a chance to clear my head, to put my thoughts into words, which I've done now to some extent. I hope you're smarter than me and gave up on reading this, I should've just typed all this and the thread opening text into a private notebook. I've already exhausted myself on my daily quota of usefull shits to do though, so might as well keep wasting my time here.