You deliberately misunderstood me.
I don't know who Stiv is. I don't know who Sam is. I don't know who Tolki is. I'm new to the community but keep stumbling on this topic.
I did not say it was Sams fault. I specifically said I was NOT saying that.
According to that, Sam left BEFORE the cheating happened, unless I am reading it incorrectly. This is an important point, considering the brunt of your reason why you believe I am wrong/justifying or that it is understandable that he left relies on the fact that you believe he left AFTER it took place, while it seems that the opposite is true.
It's never bullshit to be an adult. If you are going to pout about something and leave the area, avoid talking to anyone face to face, and then leave without a word, then whatever happens is going to be partially a result of the passive attitude that you chose to take. That's just how the adult world is.
Just to quote what that guy linked from Stiv:
We still didn't know where Sam was, but he did come back in the room once or twice to get some things. It was apparent that he was still mad. Later on, we found out that Sam left SGDQ. He took the car and left for home, leaving Tolki and their stuff at the hotel.
The cheating took place AFTER THIS. So basically, Sam apparently got upset about something and then left without a word to anyone. Had he not done that, it is not outlandish to assume the cheating would not have occurred at all. Again, am I saying it was his fault? No. But did the actions he chose to take dramatically increase the possibility? Yes.
When he left, how did he expect her to get home? Probably via a car with someone else. How about moving all her bags and his stuff? Probably with help from someone else. That's two opportunities right there that would not have existed. This isn't even taking into account the fact that he was leaving her alone for multiple nights with all these people, friends and strangers alike. It's just childish and irresponsible.
Just my two cents. Idk any of the people involved personally. I hate cheating, I think its absolutely awful. But I also think being passive and acting like a child instead of being an adult in situations like this is awful as well. According to that document, Sam was upset for some reason prior to any kissing, prior to any cheating. At THAT point he should have explained why he was upset and not left everyone in the dark. AT LEAST to his own wife. Again, his fault that it happened? No. Not really. But again, this was partially possible because of actions he took.