How exactly does one get pussy while playing fullback for the Hurricanes? Your more famous first five brother always cock blocking you. when you're trying to run game on some Black Ferns halfback the news media catches you smiling at her and immediately blows shit out if proportion speculating that you are somehow being offside with your awkward teenage flirting, so you have to testify before NZR that you didn't give away any top secret backline moves to her and are made to admit live on One News that you've never even made a tackle . Then you get blue balls from some hot Feilding Girls High student winking at you and flashing her panties under her skirt and making sexy faces and blow job motions to you while you were making a linebreak or lining up your placekick, and when you passed by and signed an autograph she leans in whispering she is going to diddle her clit thinking about you tonight and how much she wants to suck your dick off, just to fuck with you. Then you try to look up some Christian Cullen highlights when you get home just to relieve the tension but you just know the scrum coach and the captain are watching you beat off. Then you finally break down and Jack off in the ice bath which sets off some fucking biohazard drain alarm and the entire Cake Tin is on lock down until they can find the source of the specimen and you end up getting debriefed by the joint groundsmen about your masturbatory habits and how you almost created a decrease in season tickets with your dick. Then stuff.co.nz leaks your Instagram history showing you looked up offloading techniques when it was actually just some click bait you'd accidentally clicked and Sumo Stevenson spends all next week talking about your supposed tiny hands. So you end up squirming a little since you are so wound up and being judged constantly and now people are saying you look like a fucking prop and you start to think you'll never get any pussy.