I’m so sorry you’re feeling this badly. It’s very common to not connect with the first therapist you go to. Please try again. And then again, if needed to find someone you’re more comfortable with. Try until you find someone you can work with.

It can be very helpful to have someone to bounce your thoughts and feelings off of. And to hear a different perspective on some things in your life. It’s healing to have an outlet to say things you could never say to anyone else in your life. To explore things you feel embarrassed about.

Anti-depressant medications can save your life. That also takes some trial and error, to find the one that works best for you.

I was severely depressed at your age and I really had no idea why. I knew some things that had deeply hurt me. I knew I felt very lonely and misunderstood. I felt that I was a bad person and unlikeable, deep down. The meds calmed it enough that I could talk it out in therapy. If I hadn’t, I might not be here now.

Teen years are so emotionally volatile. Dealing with poor self-esteem, mean kids, raging hormones, and very little control over your own life, all contribute to feelings of hopelessness, of being a misfit, of loneliness.

Keep these two things in mind. 1) You must actively make a consistent effort to improve this, yourself. No one else can do it for you. How? By seeing a medical Dr for meds, seeing a therapist/counselor, and self care (regular sleep habits, eating well, exercise even when you don’t want to). Second, understand that what you feel and think now is temporary. Your life will change tremendously as you get older. New school/work friends; a better understanding of yourself; new communication and coping skills; control over where, and with whom, you live. Choices, choices, choices.

I won’t say I’m cured, but I can manage it much better now. I hope you get there, too. I’m here if you ever need someone to talk to.