Interesting! May I ask how you got over that?

It never even occurred to me he could have some insecurity issues, as he's without a doubt the best partner I've had so far, despite the low frequency. I never fail to show him my appreciation and close-to-worship of his sexual skills. He has no problems kissing me, touching me throughout the day, but doesn't enjoy making out. I had suggested a weekly make out session to help relieve some of my sexual frustration and craving for intimacy when he told me he didn't like it. I didn't understand his aversion but perhaps it's too sexual for him? I'm imagening his train of thought like this: “I have sex with you once a week and now you want to add make out sessions to that? Isn't sex enough?”. I'll be sure to ask about this when we have another sex talk.

I've suspected he lied about masturbating for a while now. Why else would one watch porn? I don't think it's something he does often though, since he's almost never alone except for his commute to work (the thought of him masturbating in the train's toilet is amusing though). He does always delete his history, which further fueled the suspicion he watched porn. A year ago I wouldn't have believed you about him having fantasies/desires, as he shoots down everything I can think of. But now that we're on the subject of porn.. The first videos I found were extremely vanilla, amateur videos, though some were, how do you call that, mixed races? These could be old though, they were on a tablet he owned well before he knew me. But! One day he left a tab open on a porn site, where he had typed “Father” in the search bar. Not too long ago I asked him if I could call him “Daddy” during dirty talk and to my utter surprice he was not only okay with that, he seemed.. Happy? So now, I'm inclined to believe you about him having fantasies. Gosh, I haven't been this excited about sex in a long time. (I'm kinky you see, I thought he was as vanilla as one can be.) Any suggestions on what I can do to perhaps speed up the process of him opening up to me about his desires? I've created a safe, non-judgemental enviroment for him to open up, and shared some of my milder fantasies/kinks (D/s, spanking). I don't think I can do anything else but if you have ideas, I'm all ears!

I already touch myself casually on occasion (GoT hello!). He doesn't touch himself though, ever, which I'm afraid won't change any time soon. If by some miracle he does, would you advice me to pay it no attention (don't make it a big deal) or to give him positive reinforcement, encourage him (tell him how sexy he looks when he touches himself, tell him it makes me want to suck etc)?

Thank you for sharing your insight! You definitely gave me some points to think about.