Unfortunately, I have both cheated and been cheated on. I cheated on my SO with an ex that was very manipulative and convinced me that I wouldn't be near him if that wasn't what I wanted. Hearing him say that hurt more than anything and I realized that I had placed myself in a horrible situation. The entire experience was horrible, I felt used, and all I could think of was my SO and how I didn't feel safe. I am not the type of person to go behind someone's back and lie about things so I went to my SO right after it happened and told him. I was an absolute wreck and I couldn't understand what was wrong with me or how I could have done something that I knew would hurt him tremendously. He was pissed off and hurt, as I assumed he would be, but we talked about it for a while and then he went to his friend's house for the night. The next day he called and asked if I could give him a ride home as he didn't have his vehicle with him. I, of course agreed, only to be told on the way that he too had cheated on me. His cheating, however, happened months prior to mine, but he hadn't even told me about it. He cheated on me when he decided to go on a camping trip with his best friend, his best friend's girlfriend, and her friend that I could not go on. I warned him before he left that I was concerned about the girlfriend's friend since they would be drinking. I was so shocked and hurt that he hadn't told me before. He said he couldn't imagine hurting me and thought that if he just didn't think about it, it would go away. The fact that he waited months to tell me and I had enough respect for him to tell him immediately after just broke my heart. We are still together, but it has taken so much effort on both of our parts to get past this mess. No matter how the cheating took place or whatever reason is behind it, it is always better to tell your SO sooner rather than later.

My SO did voice his opinion about penis size, but since my ex was so much smaller and absolutely HORRIBLE in bed, my SO felt much better. For him, it then became a competition that he had won because my ex had given me the worst sex experience of my life. For me, the insecurities were numerous. I began to feel like I wasn't making him happy anymore or that I wasn't worth the truth because he hadn't told me earlier. We asked each other various questions about the encounters and told each other everything. Although it hurt to hear, it was much needed and we both knew how important it would be if we wanted to save our relationship. The topic of our encounters still comes up on occasion, but each time we talk about it, it seems to go just that much farther away.