Long time Reddit lurker here. Had to write something because I'm absolutely torn up right now. I don't even know if I'll post this.

I'm currently out of town for business with my father - we are in the same industry and often work together as a team. He's the one who first introduced me to Linkin Park as a very young child - Hybrid Theory came out on my sixth birthday (funnily enough my dad and I share the same birthday too so it's all weirdly connected I guess). I was a very angry child and LP's music during times like my parents' divorce really helped me get through the every day. I was also one of those kids who REFUSED to listen to any music other than stuff that was rock based - look back on my old forum posts from way back when and there's definitely some "COUNTRY + RAP = CRAP" type stuff out there. But with the release of the album with Jay-Z and realization of how closed minded I was being because, you know, Mike raps, I started getting into hip hop. I've subsequently been a hip hop dancer since junior high school. I've competed across the country, taught classes, ran a team - I can't imagine who I'd be today without it. I might not even be here. And these opportunities would not have presented themselves if it wasn't for the artistry of LP.

Back to the present - I was at an event when I got the BBC News notification on my phone about Chester. I was in shock. I didn't know what to do - should I leave? Is this a hoax? Everything was upside down. I ended up staying, mostly in denial. I barely acknowledged it for the rest of the day. I later had to tell my dad the news when we got back to the hotel - he had been working his ass off the whole day and hadn't seen anything. I cried telling him. He isn't a crier, but you could tell he was really broken up about it. I couldn't sleep last night. It's a little after 4PM here, and I haven't left my hotel room. Cried a lot. I really just can't believe it. Although obviously we can't know anything for certain, I can't help but think that the negative reaction to their newest music contributed to his death. It pisses me off - LP to me always represented musical and genre exploration. It's what they inspired me to do. I loved the new album and how it mirrored my own change as an artist. I don't know. I'm just unbelievably sad.

Was supposed to see them in October as a birthday present to myself. Fuck, man.