We've tried couples counseling before. He does not like admitting he is wrong. Like, ever. He will find something wrong with the marriage counselor if they don't agree with him - "that guy is an idiot/he's a douchebag/he doesn't know anything." It is frustrating to try to communicate with him, the only thing I've ever noticed that really works is giving him time.

An example: I wanted an engagement ring. He never got me one. He had a year and a half to do it, I often reminded him of it, did everything basically short of begging him for one, even offered to just go and buy one for myself so I wouldn't have go around with a bare finger... and he always had an excuse not to. Engagement rings are stupid, or they're too expensive, or he was working on it, I just have to be patient. 3 years later, no engagement ring, but I'm over it, and pretty much all he can say is "... yeah, I admit I really screwed up on that."

Or our wedding! He contributed nothing to planning or organizing it. I begged him for suggestions. All he wanted was "a monkey in a tuxedo serving hors d'oeuvres," and when I pooh-poohed that, he said I was not valuing his input and that he wasn't going to contribute anything if I wouldn't let him have his way anyway. I gave up and just did everything myself. A couple years later, we went to a friend's wedding - they sent a thank you card for our gift. He commented, "oh that's nice, we probably should have done that."

... uh, we did. Or rather, I did. I wrote them, you just signed off on them.

"... oh..."

Yeah. You don't remember how stressed I was and how much work I put in making invitations and all that?

"... wow, I'm a dick."