And wherever I go in my city I run into somebody from college or high school who is deliberately trying to avoid me. My mother was an abusive narcissist who intentionally placed me in upper class environments so she could live through me vicariously...only she would also scream at me in front of other kids and bring drama wherever she went. When I broke down at the end of college partly due to this, literally everyone I knew stopped talking to me. This was despite bringing in internationally famous people to speak at my university - it's like they couldn't use me anymore so now I've been thrown away like a dirty rag. I graduated without a single friend after four years of being publicly bullied and humiliated by students, professors, and staff members for being homeschooled, having a poor family life I couldn't hide, and not having anything close to the social experience needed to succeed at a basic level. For example, one student whose mother was a major university donor asked me to write an outline for his paper... and then told everyone that I was on methamphetamine and I was probably never going to get a job and and have to sell myself as a prostitute (I'm gay, so that made me a target).

And I just wrote this long Facebook rant about how many mentally ill people get shot by the police. Yes, I was desperately seeking attention under the guise of social justice. Only two people liked the status - one who used to openly bully me in a student club, and one who treated me as his sympathy project during college. I literally have nobody at all; all I can think about is how much I need to get the hell out of this city - no, this atomized, backward country called the USA that curls its lips upwards and whispers sweet nothings, but treats the mentally ill and the poor like non-persons.