I feel the same way. I have no job, no friends, no relationship and it seems I will never get any of that again because of my issues and I pushed everyone way too far. Now I have nothing, the whole town knows about me losing it a few weeks ago. It seems like even the whole world knows who I am because everywhere I go, I get references to my situation. I'm told it's not true and that I'm psychotic but it's REAL. I'm not crazy, depressed and borderline sure, but the persecution is NOT fiction, it's real. No one believes me though and that's what they count on. It sounds unreal and I am known to have some kind of psychosis but I'm not falling for it. Not at all.

It seems people aren't helping me as much as stalling me for something terrible. I'm kept from getting a job and forced into therapy. No one wants anything to do with me, all they do is talk about me in riddles and shove their wonderful life in my face and talk about how "omg it's soooo hot, hey girl that might be homeless and on the street, it's hooooooooooooot outside, did I mention it's hot, it's really fucking hot!" Let me lie and lie and lie to you horribly and then deny it like you don't fucking know what gas-lighting is.