Reddit, what your funniest story?

My boyfriend and I went to go see the new Avengers movie with a group of our friends. We decided to make and eat edibles. We made them a little differently than usual because we were in a rush, and we were worried they wouldn't work well. So we made them as potent as possible, and split the whole pan between us all. We get to the theater. It hits me. Hard. My boyfriend gets up, says he's going to the bathroom. I'm watching the trailers and they're all super intense, action-packed trailers. I'm freaking out a little. My boyfriend comes back, sits down, and asks "are you all right". I figure I look like I'm bugging, but I just tell him I'm fine. The movie starts, he gets up again to "go buy candy". The opening scene is really intense for me, and super difficult to follow. I'm freaking out a little more, but holding it together. My boyfriend comes back with no candy. He asks if I'm okay again, and I insist I'm fine. He tells me he's actually freaking out a lot and if I could come with him to the lobby. My boyfriend is my rock in situations like these, so I start to freak out pretty bad now. We sit in the lobby, he keeps telling me to talk him down but I can't even speak properly. He says how he's too hot. I start to think to myself "am I too hot, or too cold?" I can't decide. I start feeling really sick. We go outside and I just projectile vomit everywhere. My boyfriend starts freaking out yelling "Oh my God, oh my God!" We're having a complete couple's meltdown. We head to the car to wait for our friends, and this cop is standing in the aisle. We ask what's going on because he looks like he's looking for something. He tells us, "We're looking for someone, just go to your car". We ask if this "guy" they're looking for is dangerous and he just tells us to go to our car again. So we start walking and a cop car pulls up at the other end of the aisle, blocking the way. My boyfriend turns around and guides me back towards the lobby. He says it's too sketchy. I don't understand. As we pass the cop my boyfriend yells at him "I don't believe you! I think you're following me!" Now, I'm full blown freaking out. Apparently, what my boyfriend didn't tell me is every time he left the theater to use the bathroom or buy candy he was actually pacing up and down the hallway and attracted a lot of unwanted attention. He looked suspicious I guess. We return to the lobby, not two minutes later, the cop follows us back inside. We call his parents to pick us up, and we both spent the rest of the night throwing up.

/r/AskReddit Thread