I was home alone this summer. I had been slowly falling into the darkest depths of my mind. My depression had been spoken getting worse I honestly don't even know why I still consider half the people I know my friends. A weak before I honestly told one of my "friends's" girlfriend how bad my mental state had gotten up to that point in my my life. But, that's beside the point. I had gotten so far gone I literally considered grabbing a knife and ending my life. The only thing that stopped me at that moment was my brother showing up a minute earlier. I was literally writing a goodbye letter on Reddit. I didn't know who else to turn to, I had told multiple of my @friends about my state of mind, and I still feel like they don't really care.

I have gone through multiple "achievements" in my life and they still basically ignore me. At this point I feel like all my true friends have left my home town and I have no reason to go back there. I am currently so far gone I have lost meaning in my life. I'm about to graduate college and I honestly see no point in it, I just feel like nobody really cares. One of my "friends" got admitted to my school and I still feel like his interest lies more in making new friends( even went as far as introducing himself to my current friends), and still continues to ignore me.

Honestly I don't even know why I wrote so much I have basically given up on humanity. I have always wanted to help us advance by always learning, but now am considering joining the military just so I can give my life a little more meaning.

Ps: thanks for reading up to this point. I have waited too long to get this off my chest. I barely consider myself to be alive at this point, I have cAlled for help so many times and nobody seems to care...