I felt, and still feel lost, given I not only lost my parents, but two of my closest friends with them. And given I'm not even 40, it feels too early.

The rest won't be really helpful as the circumstances of their deaths were unusual- my father died so quickly from cancer that I didn't know he even had it until one hour after his death, and even my mother (who knew he had cancer, but thought it was beaten) didn't know that cancer returned and won. My mother in turn was simply murdered a few months ago, no two years after my father's death.

So I'm still in the process of paperwork and the trial and didn't have much time for own emotions yet. But... I am glad that my last words to both of them were nice, and that I could pay something back to both of them. Though it feels like I was denied to help them more, which I was more than ready for. A few days before she died I suggested her to move to my town, so I could better help her in the upcoming years.