It's almost as if this reddit question was made specifically for me...I've had so many fucked up stories of all the shitty roommates,that my friends are always laughing about it and my continuous streak of bs over the years.

I have a solid 10 amazing stories but I will just pull out the best ones...

This past term I lived in a somewhat upscale apartment building (not luxe), every room in my apartment (except I think 2 rooms) had a ensuite washroom. When I first moved in, as expected based on previous shit roommates, the place looked fucked beyond belief. In the kitchen area there were dirty dishes everywhere, dirty pots & pans sitting on the stove, garbage and wrappers strewn all over the floor, a garbage bag filled with trash (which was clearly overflowing for a while) sitting beside the fridge, old pizza boxes and Chinese food containers sitting on the counter. I just ignored all that fuckery since I didn't want to deal with any bullshit or have beef with any roommates. I setup a microwave and toaster oven in my closet to cook with and I literally never once used any appliance in the kitchen so I could avoid cleaning anyone else's mess.

Funny part of the story: I managed to make it through the entire four months without ever formally meeting my roommates. The only interactions I ever had were when I was on my way in or out of the apartment, I occasional saw someone entering/leaving or cooking. I never even learned the named of the people I fucking lived with....The guy who lived in the room directly adjacent to mine was the most annoying fukboi you could ask for. From what I could tell he went to Laurier for BBA or some shit, and had a girlfriend who would regularly come over and spend the night. They would spend countless hours during the day and night talking loudly and bitching about stupid shit. I can't wear my shitty headphones for a long time, so I would frequently be forced to hear it. The absolute worst was when it came around midnight...as you would expect, this asian guy would fuck the shit out of his girlfriend. I could be wearing a pair of headphones and still hear the girl moaning sometimes.... I would usually hear moaning, followed by their headboard knocking against my wall, followed by her telling him to keep going... So, to avoid being akward and asking them to stop fukin so hard - I would play this audio clip, followed by the always classic this or that as loud as my computer speakers would go. Pretty soon after I plaid the clips the room would go dead silent and I would continue doing what I was doing....My friends always thought it was fukin hilarious, but I came to the conclusion that this guy and his girlfriend must have thought that some super religous kid or a some jihadi was living in the room beside them LOL...

As an aside, my room was also a bit fucked but it had nothing to do with my roommates - the door to my room didn't close properly so there was a gap between the door frame and door, meaning it would be super fucking easy to break it. The door was the cheapest piece of shit you could buy and was essentially just compressed cardboard, therefore some dick head obviously managed to easily punch a huge fucking damage in the side of the door facing my room. It looked like the guy living there before me tried to put his head through the door but failed. Lastly, the mattress looked like it came out of the dirtiest and dankest homeless shelter in existence - stained beyond belief and springs popping out everywhere.