Obv you didnt read my post. I just became more detached. I said I have tried bonding and taking him out. Going to eat, going to parks, going to movies. I was the "friend" SM for several yrs. I didnt discipline until more recently and even that is very soft discipline, I dont do major. That is on dad. I understand what true trauma is, I have been around kids from abused homes and have experienced a ton of hardships in life. Ss only "trauma" is that BM is a loser who chooses not to spend more time with her son. There are a lot of kids with deadbeat parents out there and we dont label them as trauma kids. Give me a break. Does it suck? Yes it sucks that mom is only around sometimes. However, you act like he is an an abusive situation where he is treated badly and that has NEVER been the case. You can cry trauma all you want but at some point you need to be accountable for your own behaviors to be a likeable person. In 4 yrs he will be 18 and nobody will care if he has trauma. He will be an adult and be expected to not be rude and a functioning member of society.