The sadness will never go away, I'm afraid. I couldn't have kids and went the adoption route. I love them fiercely. I think of them as mine wholly and completely. But...part of me desperately wanted to experience carrying a child, breast feeding, etc the whole bit. It's stupid, but sometimes I feel like I failed at being a woman.

My mom had a special needs kids. Every year around his birthday, she has a sad day. It's the day she thinks about the perfect baby she fell in love with when she first got pregnant. She mourns that boy and feels like less of a woman because the actual boy born has had to struggle his whole life and she feels that his genetic problems are her fault.

I say this because it brings me comfort to know that other 'real' mothers can have moments where they feel like a failure as a woman too. I think many of us feel sad with loss of potential...just in different forms.

Be sad. Embrace it. But only for brief moments throughout your life. Then let it go and create a different future for yourself.