Hmm... well, neither really. You want me to be honest though? It's kind of nasty really...

I grew up with my mom who was very poor, didn't work and blamed not being "able" to get a job on me, hounded my dad for child support while she does nothing, and she was abusive overall. She hoardes, she thinks everyone is spying on her or something, she believes in ghosts and that she is one of God's chosen, and acted like I was possessed by the devil a few times, etc etc. She's one of those people that would get in a fight with the servers at a restaurant that raises her voice immediately for any small mistake. The house was filled with boxes she never unpacked, moldy, and ugh, there's been times she made speghetti with just butter as a topping since we couldn't have sauce, and times I've had to wipe my ass with Wendy's napkins because we had no money left that month for toilet paper. And yeah, she made my life hell with both physical and verbal abuse, and that made me a timid and antisocial kid in school, which led to bullying in school. My childhood was to wake up to yelling from mom, go to school to bullying, get sent to detention and scolding from teachers for being bullied, getting bad grades, and then returning home to mom who'd then act like I'm just a troublesome shit. And then she'd have the audacity to cry and say she loves me if I ever rebelled against her.

I finally left her at age 15 to be with my dad, who was absent most of my life since they divorced when I was like one and he went to work in whales.

Since then I've been with him. He's MUCH better off. We went to China together since he had some work to do there and I went to an international school. I was still antisocial, but I learned that at least kids in private schools don't go around beating each other up as much. Hahahaa.... the kids came off as posh fucks to me really. I was strange, from some kind of other world compared to them. I never made friends there either, but at least I was left alone, which is all I really wanted at that point, I was just happy to not have someone trying to bash my head in every day and having a better home to live in..

Anyway, now I'm back in the US. We own a nice house and a nice 2015 Subaru. We do alright and I don't think I'm going to experience serious money troubles again, at least hopefully.

I've seen life from the top and bottom. I have a lot now, but I know what it's like to be hit and hurt. Truthfully, I have a strange way of seeing things. I don't trust people, I don't get close with anyone, and I've questioned myself on the ability to love anyone. I feel like all that going on when I was a kid killed part of me or something.

So now? Now I just... mostly stay home. I've got a well living and I'm happy for that... so at least now I can stay home away from the rest of the world in peace. People are horrible and I have little interest in them really... I appreciate what I have, because I could be much worse off and I know it.