After thinking about your question for a bit there are multiple reasons why I’m an alcoholic. The first being that growing up most of the men in my family would socialize with alcohol and was seen as what they did together. I never remember any horrible incidents or big fights, but I do remember there being a lot of booze around. In my teenage years I had easy access with older siblings and friends, when I was sixteen I was regularly hanging out with twenty year-olds drinking at college parties. Upon graduating high school I enlisted in the military where drinking is a major part of the culture. I looked a lot older than I really was, so I easily went to bars with buddies when I was eighteen and there were a few stores that wouldn’t card me. By the time I was twenty-four or so I was drinking a handle and two or so cases of beer on top of going to bars every night I didn’t have duty. While in the military I was also injured and along with my drinking I started abusing opiates to the point that I didn’t reenlist knowing that I was due to fail a whiz quiz. I would be over half-way to retirement if I would have just come to the realization that I had a problem and would gotten help via my command.

After getting out I have continued to drink, but have quit the other stuff. Now we come to today, looking at my bank account I have spent more than three-hundred at my local liquor store this month. I know I have a problem and I can even tell you many of the things that trigger me. One of the major things that I have come to realize is that I get into relationships that allow or even feed my addiction. I date girls that like to drink or at the very least tolerate it or see me as some social party guy. Many of these girls have had bad relationships or are a step or two below me (very dickish I know) and not trying to talk myself up, but I treat them pretty good. I don’t cheat, get physical, or even really get into arguments… until they see that my drinking is a problem and then usually we get in a big argument and we break up. I also put up a good front on for most of friends and family, I wake up and get to work on time, bust my ass at work, come home get things done and never get into any major trouble. I’m just that guy that likes to drink beer and have a good time to most. They don’t know that before we met up I had a bunch of shots and in-between beers I go off and to hit the flask. I’ve been thinking about this a lot and know that I need to create a support system to overcome it. I guess by telling you this I’m trying to get things started. It’s been a major pain in the ass and has ruined many aspects of my life including relationships, bank accounts, and now starting to affect my health. I have many goals and aspirations in my life, but looking at myself at almost thirty all i have been doing is pissing it all away.