I feel like I missed how to adult. I feel like im in a constant arms race between my peers to have an "acceptable" amount of stuff to appear adult enough. I'm happy walking, riding, or taking a bus everywhere but I mostly got my license because I felt like Ide be perceived as less of an adult if I didn't. I feel pressured to finish college because it's the thing my peers do. I feel pressured to stop dating and start marrying despite me actually having no interest.

Everyone else seems so genuine about these things that I just feel like a fraud sometimes and I didn't get the "mature" gene. Like everything after 17 has felt like I should do more than my own goals and steps to get there.

I even actively have avoided some old friends due to how my accomplishments don't stack up to theirs. They arnt cruel and they wouldn't judge as long as I'm handling mine, but I avoid them nonetheless because I feel like Im losing that arms race.

I'm a content person by nature but I feel like every "adult" I know is always reaching for something higher, or change, and I feel somehow less of an adult because I'm not