My mom was in the same boat as your wife. She was abused both physically and mentally. When she finally left him, she would get death to threats from him. Then comes my adoption when I get was 5. I met him in a McDonald's and he lost his shit. He started punching my mom and turned his attention to me. I was pretty busted up, as I took most of the fury. My dad wasn't even available atm as we was really sick. Fast forward a few years and we moved away. He tracks us down an knocks on my door. I know what he looks like so I told him to fuck off. But instead of fuck off, I made some sort of 9 year old insult. A few weeks later, I wake up in the middle of the night staring at a make shaped silhouette. I screamed and my dad came to me and was shocked, the scared, then pissed. He started screaming at him to get out of the house or else he would stab him with a knife.

He didn't move.

My dad goes to the kitchen and grabs a French knife and walks towards him. He's trying to convince him to leave but he doesn't even move besides his eyes. My dad be a man of his word, stabs him in the gut. Then he call the ambulance.

Yes he was in the wrong for stabbing my biological father, but he didn't know what was going to happen in those up coming minutes. My dad got left with a verbal warning telling him not to stab anyone else.