I am become wikipedia editor, the destroyer of worlds. What to say about myself? I'll attempt to refrain from espousing digressive minutiae and stick to the more salient facets of my existence. I'll leave the reader to decide to what degree I commit to that statement in the condensed biographical essay that follows. We'll begin with the more superficial aspects of myself: I'm caucasian. I'm an American, and, with more specificity, a Floridian. I was born on February 15th, 1998, in Daytona Beach, which has functioned as my constant town of residence up to and including this very day. As you may have deduced from my proffering of birthdate, I am sixteen years of age. The implications of such intellectual nascency being inexperience, parochialism, and untempered alacrity--which, I shall admit, describe me rather effectually. In any case, I stand at a staggering 5'9, weigh a gargantuan 165 pounds, and am possessed of two startlingly brown eyes, topped by a diminutive tuft of strikingly brown hair. My physique is rather unassuming, and--even more so--unremarkable, as I'm sure you have intuited. Ah, but In this milieu, I would be thoroughly remiss to eschew with mentioning my I.Q. However, that is actually a serious point of contention amongst the psychologists that have both tested and speculated as to what is truly is: I've heard 132, 133, 138, and even 150+. Not to be braggadocios--I'm by no means an illimitable genius--but I'm apparently somewhat intellectually aberrant, at any rate. What with my unabashedly sesquipedalian elucidations in therapeutic contexts, I'm unsurprised in regards to this dispute--and, for elucidations, they are certainly rather lacking in lucidness. I unwittingly manage to beguile many a listener into transfixion with my ruminative pomp. More on this subject later. Some proclivity listing is in order, I suppose, so we'll begin with musical ones: The genres I enjoy the most are classical, neoclassical, and heavy metal--and, to trim the obfuscating fat from that latter admission with a little more specificity--black metal. Coincidentally, I happen to be listening to Bathory's eponymous album as I compose this. Now, now--don't be perturbed. I'll state outright that I find Varg Vikernes to be a contemptuous and reprehensible individual, and the musics he composed to be trite. Furthermore, I consider the latter releases of Darkthrone--specifically, everything after Sardonic Wrath--to be hackneyed and shamelessly derivative cow manure. Moreover, I'm not a satanist, I'm an atheist--and I find the regular conflation of those two utterly disparate stances to be preposterously puerile. That should suffice for the amount of topical illumination necessary for that subject. For the moment, I'll discard my pubescent fedora and supply you with less controversial information, which, hopefully, shall reduce your desire to engage me dialectically: ...And what better way to follow up on that gesture than contradicting it entirely: I have A.D.D.--or ADHD-PI, if you're of the pedantic persuasion. I'm rather reluctant to expound upon that--so, if you are possessed of an absolutely insatiable desire to know more about it, you can lodge a formal enquiry, and I shall consider responding to it. It, if nothing else, brings the disjointedness of this essay into greater focus. On a leisurely note, I'm a gamer. A real gamer, not some slack-jawed fraternity bra, or some daffy Candy Crush Saga playing hipster. And, if you find my usage of that term to be inappropriate or imbecilic, it would be in your best interest to leave. I have cast my lot in with Gamergate--as opposed to Ingsoc. I am willing to vocally defend this decision--and my mentioning of it is not intended to be inflammatory. In regards to socioeconomic status, I'm of the upper-middle class category. And here I stated that I wouldn't digress. It's difficult to corral my attentions to one goal, of that I assure you. Attempt to avoid misattributing my sundry erroneousness to that. That is all the self-descriptive verbiage I can muster at present, thus, >I shall unceremoniously end this essay here. With any luck, it was worth the read.

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