Very complicated...

I've dealt with severe depression for my entire life... the clinical effects still come and go. I've found that the substance hands down is the most effective thing I've ever found to deal with the effects of my clinical depression, as well as my anxiety issues. It's like night and day. As soon as the substance kicks in all those mental barriers and walls keeping me stuck in that negative mode just melt away and then I'm free to be myself again.

But... I really need to clarify something...

I've had like... 12 years of therapy... I've been to abuse survivors groups, I've been dealing with, and facing all the fucked up nightmarish shit that led to my depression to begin with. I've developed new ways to see things, new methods to cope, I've been working hard to change many aspects of my life to be where I can tolerate myself.

Long story short... I've done a lot of work before even touching the substance. Had I tried it before getting help, I cannot imagine it would have been fun. Like.. now.. if I take enough to get deep in my own head... and bad things pop into focus... it's incredibly simple for me to deal with. I can immediately go to what I've learned to protect myself from it. But if I didn't have the knowledge I do... I really don't know... I really wouldn't want to find out... the idea of old sick me being thrown head deep into insanity land sounds utterly fucking terrifying.

My advice would be this...

First, get a therapist. If you don't like them, try another one. Repeat until you find one you like. I've seen dozens over the years but only like 3 on any long term basis.

Second, If you do try the substance, do not use much. I found even small amount can help break down my walls. By this I mean taking just enough to get a buzz on it. 0.5g - 1.0g dry weight equivalent. I wouldn't go over this if you've got some seriously fucked up shit in your head. This amount though, it could be beneficial, but please trust me, taking more, like 3.0g+ is a totally different experience. Stay low until you've dealt with your shit.