I just went through a breakup earlier this month after about a year with my s/o, and I resonate with your clarity. Her heart and love weren't what I thought they were, and it took until it ended for me to realize it. I know why they say "love blinds you" now, cause I missed the red flags. (Or perhaps chose to ignore them).

I knew she was looking for a chance to leave, and every time I attempted to communicate or work on the issues that I thought were making her feel this way and separating us, it turns out I was just temporarily delaying the inevitable. We would start to communicate, but she would never entertain any proactive ideas or actually want to work on anything. I would just get hit with avoidant behavior that I couldn't call out. I should've taken the hint earlier and ended it earlier.

I feel like you experienced something similar, but in a one time, direct, cut-dry, unmistakable way of him just running away. Which is a perfect example of a coward who was never deserving of your love in the first place. I didn't get ghosted at the end of my relationship, but I agree that it would've been easier getting ghosted than having it drag out how mine did. Maybe you had signs you ignored too, love does make it hard to see those hints.

I'm glad you realize your self-worth and know that you deserve better. As do I. Nobody deserves to be in a relationship with someone who won't fight to keep it going. At the end of the day this is a choice. To some degree there will always be work involved with love, and people are living in a dream world if they believe otherwise.

(I do believe however that there are people out there with whom being in love would feel effortless.)

She never truly loved me and didn't meet me halfway. Through her actions during the relationship and when we broke up, she proved to me that at her core I was never a priority. Nobody deserves that shit, or any iteration of feeling like you're not enough because of someone else's selfishness and however it shows up in your relationship.

You'll find someone who's worth it. I hope that your ex can learn and grow from this the same way you are. Doesn't sounds like he is this time though by monkey barring like that.

As sad as I am, I have to say I feel the relief too a little bit more as the days go by. I didn't think I would at first, but I was wrong.

I wish you the best of luck with your future relationships!

Time heals all!