I've edited this 20 times and I can't make it shorter so I advise you to turn back now. Anyway, I'm on the verge of disowning my brother and I need to vent.
He's 21 and hasn't had a job in 5ish years but here's where it goes from run-of-the-mill dole bludger to fucking embarrassing: he's managed to convince everyone from doctors and psychologists to my entire family that he's "disabled". Because he has anxiety. That's it - he gets anxious when he thinks about having to go to work. He's absolutely fine when it comes to going into the CBD to drink or when his friends invite him interstate at the drop of a hat. He's even able to go to court and fight a traffic offence but whenever he thinks about work he "throws up and blacks out". Get the fuck out.
So now he has a case with a disability job services provider and aside from all the free shit he's "entitled" to, they've put him in homeless housing which has put me squarely against my family. They've given him a flat in a nice suburb near a train station, a pub and a shopping centre, and they charge him something like $20 a week (which Centrelink covers, yay!).
My entire family appears to think this is fine. I found out on Christmas eve and planned to verbally smash him on Christmas day (after presents, duh), and I kind of assumed I'd have some backup at least from my parents. But no, they were all "proud" of him for leaving the nest and when I tried to suggest he should have a good, long look in a mirror he quietly went to mum and I was told to "be nice" because it's "upsetting" him. Of course it's upsetting him - someone's calling him out on his bullshit! Then he had the balls to tell me I should visit him and to make sure I bring a six pack. Fuck you, sunshine.
Now I'm copping shit for not helping him out. We got into an argument when he asked if I'd help him move and I told him point blank that as far as I was concerned he could carry his own donated shit up the donated stairs. My parents even got upset when I refused to give him my old 42in TV after I bought a new one. If his is too small then he can buy his own decent one like the rest of us do.
So now I don't know what to do. I'm not good at holding my tongue in many situations and this is one I'm seriously struggling with. I want to lay into him about the fact that he's taking fucking charity when he doesn't need nor deserve it but I know he'll get mum involved because he doesn't give a shit that she suffers serious depression and getting her to protect him does her no favours.
The need to tell him what I think of him is eating at me and it's all coming to a head. He's asked me to go to his flat for house warming drinks (are you fucking serious?) and I'm ready to point out that he's no longer my mate, just a member of my family, but I guarantee that'll get back to mum within a millisecond.
I can't decide whether I'm over-reacting.