Went onto smallboobproblems and feel very invalidated and trivialized.

That was actually me.

I'm a guy.

I've had a lot of flack for that so I'm going to explain myself - I would appreciate it if you would understand the comment in the spirit with which it was meant before you start having a go at me.

Firstly I signed up for that sub because my then gf and now ex had extreme body issues that she used to take out on me all the time "there must be something wrong with you, real men don't like girls with small tits" etc. - she was a classic combination of bitter, hurt and abusive because of it.

I would try and cheer her up sometimes by taking her mind of it.

She also made a few asuicide attempts in that time as well. Very dark times.

Ultimately her self loathing and paranoia took over and the relationship was un-salvageable for that and a whole bunch of other reasons.

So it really breaks my heart when someone has issues like that and I always try and help out when I see extreme cases like the post I replied to - someone so down and so sad that they wished men would hassle them in the street.

Secondly - and here is the most important thing - those comments were meant for her and not you - sometimes we say things to 'stop the baby crying' to use the metaphor; we say things we don't mean or little white lies to take someone out of a dark place.

Things that are like rafts - they get us across the river and then we discard them at the other end.

That is what was happening in that situation and it was directed for her and not for you. I find it weird that some of you have gone over there looking for trouble in a support group (and group for people who wish to give support) and then taken offence.

It's assinine.

The closest analogy I can think of is a bunch of men's rights activists walking into a help group for abused women and interrupting people when they try and let the pain out:

"I'm so tired of men...


<sniff> "I, I just mean that all the men I.."


It's just pathetic frankly. Please just let people grieve and support others grieving in their own way. What works for you may not work for them, and what works for them may not be what works tomorrow or yesterday.

I am sorry you were upset by what you saw but the fact that many of you have brigaded and downvoted and started hassling me for what was clearly an attempt to cheer someone up is nothing short of bullying and victim olympics.

Even those whole point of this thread is stupid.

"I went to a help group for people with a similar-but-different problem to me, an in the course of people workign through that I was triggered"

You know what?


Before you lot came over and started downvoting me the OP and a couple of others had upvoted me.

The whole post was a joke about how the type of guy who catcalls women and judges them purely by size, as if scale is the only sense of merit. I used the analogy of a car to illustrate that point.

It took along time to make and I stand by what I did.

It wasn't meant for any of you - I know you have your own problems - but going into other self help groups and being triggered by their problems is just stupid and it makes it worse.

Shame on all of you for what you are doing. Shame on your brigading. Shame on /u/blizzard07 for her bullying.

Shame on all of you for not reading that situation for what it was, and trying to turn it into something ugly about yourselves.

Now, I don't think any of you are the type of people who are able to let things go and just say "you know what, maybe I was wrong, maybe it was just something I shouldn't stick my oar into and maybe I should stop shit stirring - I have my problems, let other people have theirs"

Prove me wrong.

/r/bigboobproblems Thread