December 2015: I experienced Tinnitus, went to ENT he said it was ear wax impaction so he gave some drops and asked me to meet after a couple of days. I was glad it the Tinnitus would be over. but after removal I started experiencing more! I started panicking, restless again i went to the same ENT he took audiometry(check hearing loss) and all other shit and result came to be normal. The doctor couldnt understand it why I had tinnitus. I was shit scared whether this would become permanent. I again went to multiple audiometry tests and ents no one could find the reason or give a solution. (There are no cure for "Tinnitus").
I was on my own after researching about tinnitus for nearly full time I came to know that the conventional audiometry tests your hearing till 8khz when human are capable to hear till 20khz. So i suspected may be there was some 'hearing loss' from 8khz to 20khz which is giving me tinnitus. No ENT have such equipments so I took my laptop and downloaded online audio tone generators, plugged my headphone and checked the dB leves with my smartphone. By this way I was able to conduct audiometry at home it self.
Now is the part I was totally devastated, I was able to find a sharp notch in hearing loss around 12khz on my left ear ("Tinnitus ear"). (NOTE: If Tinnitus is due to Hearing loss it is PERMANENT) I almost fainted, I was only 20 years old I dont want this shit throughout my life.
I was in final semester of my college days, my crush went for internship, most of my friends went for internship, my mom broke her leg and walking again was in doubt. I was all alone, I always thought of my past life (college days was glorious),six months prior to this incident I got placed in a decent job and man life was awesome at that time, as Gamer and music lover, and now I could never hear to music the old way, A kind of Nostalgia and Tinnitus drove me into severe depression. This is a deep spiral hole (Tinnitus cause depression and insomnia, depression and insomnia further increases Tinnitus). I also started having OCD. I would test the audiometry for 12- 16hrs a day for almost 3 months hoping some how magically i would hear the lost frequencies, I stopped going to college for 3 months It was final semester no body gave a damn about attendance. I had nothing to do, that fed my OCD further. my parents and brother were really worried. Then I went next level asking everyone to take my audiometry testing to feel whether its normal for everyone. That include strangers, social media friends etc... Every one understood that am behaving strangely. Not many people co operated well, I got some offense as well. my days passed with sleepless nights and panicked early morning. I some how graduated and right after the final exam I got the DOJ for my job, I had only 2 weeks remaining.
May 2016: In that 2 weeks period I was at home, mother's love(mom recovered her walking) and comfy of my home soothed my depression, plus I decided to get "used to Tinnius" rather than "finding a miracle cure". I purposely bought some earplugs and went to a silent room and locked all windows, doors and wore earplugs (Tinnitus would be more noticeable in a silent enviroinment). Tinnitus was at peak I just meditated there some hours everyday getting myself used to it. whenever I come out of that room the Tinnitus would be lower when compared to the silent room because of the day to day noise. This convinced my brian. I was slowly getting away from depression and anxiety. Tinnitus level got reduced because of less stress and peaceful mind. After joining the job, i made sure to keep myself busy and not alone. So far so good. but I still suffer from the fear it caused me, I would never go outside without earplugs. I would listen to music at much safer volume and also started gaming. Still have tinnitus but I dont give a damn so I would easily forget the noise.