My MIL is a full blown narcissist. I know it's trendy to call people that right now, but she actually is one. Ticks all the DSM criteria, and then some. When I started dating my spouse, he and my MIL's friends warned me about her. No one said "hey, she's a narcissist," but they told me to keep her at arms length. I did not come a family with similar issues, so I didn't heed the warnings because I didn't fully understand them. I spent 12 years trying to build a genuine and healthy relationship with her, which, as anyone whose dealt with a narc knows, is impossible. Finally accepting and understanding that we will never have that genuine relationship has been incredibly depressing. She will never care about my feelings, never reciprocate kindnesses, or take responsibility for how she the hurtful things she often does. At this point, I have also become her favorite scapegoat and she has villainized me to friends and family, which means I will never be able to have genuine relationships with many of them either. As someone who thrives on having loving, honest relationships, this has been a difficult blow. But I'm adjusting, I'm learning, and I'm making the best of it.