Want to see what people think about the first two chapters of my story

I think you need more description. Reading it I don’t really feel anything about what he’s experiencing is like. Really try to sit and think about how someone might feel and how that feeling makes your body react. Also, I would be extremely cautious about using slave ships. Like slaves would never eat a member of the crew, they would be killed for that. To me it feels equivalent of if you used concentration camps as a plot device in a fictional story, it sort of makes light of how in reality they were fucking terrible and you pretty much were going to die. Like slave ships aren’t just something in fantasy, they were real and the history behind them and what happened on them is so disgusting and horrifying that in my opinion it should be saved for nonfiction. There wasn’t any savior for those that actually died on them. Like even in pirates of the Caribbean they allude to slaving but don’t actually bring that in as a plot device with scenes and stuff as that would be doing a disservice to those that actually went through it because it’s not pretend.

/r/fantasywriters Thread