Looks like I'm late to the party but oh well.
Our HOA hired a property management company. The company sucked and did nothing besides siphon off money. It also went by the name of the owner, so something like John Smith Properties LLC, where John Smith is the name of the owner.
One night I'm having trouble sleeping, so I pop outside in my bathrobe for a cigarette. It's late summer and all my neighbors in our apartment building are asleep, so I neglect to don any pants.
So I'm sitting on the stairs a touch drunk and enjoying a light breeze on my nether regions whilst having a smoke, when some shitlord comes stomping by carrying a flashlight shining it in to people's windows. Scares me half to death, since I'd just gotten done chasing off some hooligans a few nights prior. Then I spot the clipboard.
"What're you up to?", I stand up and ask.
"Property inspection," the shitlord replies. Then I notice his little sweater-vest with John Smith LLC embroidered on it.
"The fuck are you doing a property inspection for at 11:30 at night!?"
"It's for security."
"Bullshit! Come on out here at 3am when the real freaks are around."
He shrugs, "I wouldn't know anything about that."
He keeps walking. So I follow him.
I'm not sure if it was the scent of whiskey, cigarettes, and my sweaty ballsack that made him uncomfortable, or the deepening V-neck in my bathrobe exposing my hairy moobs and the flaps of my robe threatening to expose my Johnson with each stride, but he does make a beeline for his car.
We walk in rushed silence. I'm not going to verbally harass him any more; there's no point. He gets the message. We reach his car and I stand there looking in his windows now, smiling, until he drives away.
I call up the property management company and leave a message. It starts out pleasant, "Hi there, I'm [smoking bathrobe guy]. I live in apartment 26C. One of your employees just did a property inspection at 11:30pm --" and the rest is a surprisingly coherent screaming rant.
Turns out it wasn't an employee. The shitlord was John Smith Property Management LLC himself, with his own damn name and logo stitched in to his fucking sweater-vest, the cocksucker.
The next month he sent out a letter saying he would no longer be providing services for our complex.