When I was 4 I ate peanut butter given to me by my cousin Matt. I then went into anaphylactic shock and stopped breathing for a few minutes.
When I was 6 I was pushed into a pool by my cousin Matt and drowned. I had to be revived.
When I was 9 I was pickup up and thrown by my cousin Matt into a metal bed post. Didn't almost die though.
On December 30th 2015 I decided I was to kill myself at midnight. I was ready to go and was counting down the hours. Depression had seemed to have finally won the struggle and battle. I felt nothing and was numb to emotion and really everything. My exams had all gone sub standard for me except my AP Government exam. I finished physics with a C, far below the usual A I had gotten for years. I felt like the one thing I had pride in, my academics, was gone. It almost seems like having depression for so long had made me more forgetful and stupid. Added stress and seemingly neglect from my parents while also their attention was on my sister made me feel unloved. I was ready to go.
At about 10pm I decided to pass the time by playing some video games one last time. I looked at my Steam library and for some reason, my focus landed on a game I had bought earlier in the month but knew nothing about, Undertale. I launched the game and was instantly surprised with the music. I played through much of the game before realizing it was 2am. I decided I would live one day more so I could finish the game. The next day I started playing again at about 10pm. At 1:03AM on New Year's Day 2016, I finished the true ending to Undertale in tears. I was broken, confused, and ashamed of myself for wanting to commit suicide. Somehow an indie game taught me life was worth living, and that it's okay to be sad. It taught me that I have friends who will be there for me to the end of the world. After that game, I didn't feel so alone. I found new pride when I began drawing again. I felt alive and felt emotion again during and after playing Undertale. It's weird to think I was so close to suicide, and a silly game pulled me away from the edge, that I owe my life to a video game. I sometimes think back to those nights and remember the loneliness and how it faded as I played those games. I remember those moments of confusion when I felt some emotional stirring inside me and breaking through the veil of depression. I also remember how close I was to dying. I've since promised myself I will never get that close to the edge ever again. I've done well so far, and hope to keep doing so.