Good for you for making that choice. My grandfather just lost the fight to dementia back in February, and I was with him til the very end. It still haunts me watching him waste away to nothing, into a shell of the man he was.

I’m going through it currently with my grandmother on the other side. She’s rapidly losing her fight with cancer. The woman is an absolute Christmas addict, and to watch her cry in palliative care because she’s not well enough to go home and decorate her house is heartbreaking.

Although I’m much closer with my nan than I was with my grandfather, I think watching gramps go was worse. Nan still has her mental faculties which is sad in a way, but it puts me at ease to know that she understands what is happening, and being able to talk to her about the old days.

My grandfather was the most soft spoken and gentle souled man I’ve ever known. Going through having him scream and throw punches at me and my grandmother was beyond traumatizing, especially knowing the man he was before dementia got its grip on him.

I don’t regret being by his side the whole way, but I do find myself thinking more about the bad times than of the good. If I knew what I would have to live through, I may not have gone to see him. I try to remember the positive, but watching him gasp for air and fight for his life on his last day will haunt me for the rest of my life.

I’m sorry you had to lose your grandmother like that. Dementia is hell.