It's not something the person said, but something that was said about them. One of my best friends has told me (not all at once, but slowly over time) that her boyfriend and father of her child has cheated on her, has had addiction problems in the past, regularly uses cocaine, takes her bill money to use at the bar, and regularly drives drunk. I love her so much but I absolutely hate her boyfriend. I try to by nice to him but when it's just me and my friend alone, I express my dislike for him and that she needs to encourage him to seek out help. I wouldn't have any issues with him if he didn't constantly put his family at risk. If I'm ever alone in a room with him, we're going to have a little chat. I don't want to push them apart or push him away, but I think she'd be so much better off without him. I wouldn't try to break them up, but he needs to know that some things need fixed.