You were an extremely vulnerable 13 year old. Kids that age need to be protected from adults like that. It’s really not your fault and it was rape every single time. Those men were having sex with a young teenage boy who was addicted to drugs in exchange for drugs.

Even as cynical as I am, I cannot wrap my mind around what could possibly make that okay in an adult’s mind. I don’t even have a word for how selfish and narcissistic you would have to be to do that to a kid that age and in that situation. He was abusing you and taking advantage of you and you did not deserve that whatsoever.

It’s hard to believe sometimes and I understand that. My abuser made it a game to manipulate me and make me think it was a normal thing that all kids did. I blamed myself too. It wasn’t until I thought about it as if another person told me my story as if it happened to them and how I would react that I realized why it wasn’t my fault.