Hotel manager here!
Don't be a slob just because you're not the one who has to clean up after yourself. We have incredibly high cleanliness standards and your room has to be used by somebody else the very next day. Not only that but our housekeepers are minimum-wage workers, bursting their bums every day to keep the place spotless. Why make their life harder? 4-5 hours of tough, manual labour is not pleasant. So, keep the space clean, put rubbish in the bin, keep your clothes/belongings off the floor and well-organised and don't flood the fucking bathroom.
Read the information about the hotel before you book. Don't just assume that we have free parking, 24-hour high-speed internet, a swimming pool, a late-night bar or whatever. Actually go online to our website where all of the information you require is listed. This goes double for people with special sleeping requirements (disabled guests etc), who might not be able to stay with us at all because we don't meet certain expectations. I'm sorry, I know it is inconvenient but there isn't anything I can do about it and I don't see why you should have a free stay at the hotel because you failed to check up on our accommodation listings.
Plan your journey to the hotel. Do NOT call our staff during peak check-in times, angry and ranting because your SatNav does not include the new motorway junction that was built last year (also - update your SatNav regularly!) and at least take a brief look at the journey on google maps or something if you are travelling hundreds of miles and don't know the area. Calling us and saying "Uh...I'm next to a McDonalds, um, near a big red building, er...can you tell me how to get to you from here?" is really not much help to us.
If you have an issue with anything during your stay then let us know while you are here and we will fix it for you. That is our job. If the heating doesn't work in your room or the water pressure seems low then that is something you can tell us about at the time. We will then fix the issue for you. Don't suffer in silence. Don't smile and nod when a receptionist asks how everything is or has been regarding your stay then go home and post a 3 paragraph review on Trip Advisor or to our direct feedback system. IN FACT, our feedback system affects our monthly bonuses. Please, PLEASE consider speaking to somebody at the hotel rather than pull our scores down because you thought your room was too noisy. Talk to us. We would rather deal with your issue directly at the site.
Double check everything before you confirm your booking. When you phone us to make a booking, we will painstakingly read-back every detail. We do this to ensure that there are no mistakes. When you make the booking online, there is a 'do you want to proceed' stage before the payment is processed that shows you EVERYTHING you just requested: dates booked, bedroom type, breakfast included etc. READ THAT PAGE. Don't arrive at the hotel and claim that we haven't met your needs because you mindlessly just clicked through the web page like some kind of zombie.
Please don't be too noisy. Noise is our biggest cause of complaints and results in a number of refunds. If you want to watch TV, keep it at a respectable volume. If you are going on a night out, try to keep it down when you arrive back at 3AM. If you want to go outside for a smoke, please, please don't bang every corridor door on the way downstairs. If you want to fuck your SO, make sure that you are somewhat discreet. Being noisy is inconsiderate. There might be little kids in the rooms around you. People come here to sleep. They want peace and quiet and they have a right to expect that. They paid their money too!