This is my old Cornell a capella group!
Left to right:
Chevy Chaise: Head of the golfing society and star of his own failed television show on campus. Thinks he looks like Matthew McConaughey but really doesn't. His dad is famed comedian Rodney Dangerfield, in character as Thornton Mellon, and they were briefly enrolled in the college together.
The Nard Dog: Failed paper salesman. Once adopted 12 dogs to try and seem charitable but decided he didn't want them. Engaged like twice, never been married. Once dated the chick from Wendy's I think.
Greenpiece: Cornell's science lab's greatest breakthrough in a synthetic prep, Greenpiece is the remains of our old tenor Brad after he was killed in a horrible squash accident. His legs can detach into a separate person and his arms can segment like General Grevious. To save weight he's completely hollow because let's face it, these guys don't need depth.
Broccoli Rob: The Nard Dog's mysterious adversary. Some say he was born simply to give the Nard Dog a challenge in life. Others say his real name is Marc and his dad sponsored Cornell a hundred grand to get him enrolled. Constantly gets blamed when girls can't hold their roofies as if that's his fucking fault.