Posting this as a throwaway for obvious reasons.

I moved back to the Philippines for work. I always wondered what it would be like to work in Manila, having been overseas since my youth. When I saw the opportunity I went ahead and took it. I had my own place with a view at Makati. I didn't know much people, but I'm usually pretty sociable, and not one to shy away from people, but I found it difficult to connect with people at Manila at first. I hit up most of the bars at Makati. I partied with strangers, but we never really connected and I never heard from most of them again. I spent more and more time at work, often doing 16 hour days, as I couldn't bear going home to an empty apartment. It was nothing like what I had imagined my stay in Manila would be. I started going online and talking to random people, often inviting strangers for company and random hookups. I started meeting people. Some of the wrong type, in hindsight. I've always been into party drugs. It was always around me in my mid teens, so I'm comfortable around it, and you learn to recognise the kind of people you meet due to it. I was getting paid well, but the money didn't really matter. I started throwing random parties during the week to kill the crippling loneliness inside of me. Remember that scene from Breaking Bad with Jesse in his house with strangers? It was similar to that, but perhaps not as crazy and nowhere near as dramatic. That was the norm for me for a while as I struggled with my loneliness, my rekindled and blossoming romance with party drugs, and just fitting in.

I remember stirring up in the middle of the night dazed and confused, finding little comfort from the partying that was still happening outside my room. I felt someone beside me and was kissing and caressing my body, while struggling to take off my belt and jeans. This would have been fine for me back then, usually, but something was odd that time. It just didn't feel right. I quickly stirred and switched on the light, and was shocked to find the boyfriend of one of the people I've met online half naked next to me. I was confused and just started screaming at him. He was trying to say something to me, but I was beyond delirious at this point. I kicked him and everyone else out, locked the door, and started crying alone in my empty apartment.