Criticism welcomed? Criticism provided! (And sorry if I come off as harsh, I really like to discuss and debate everything art-related but I tend not to mince my words.)

So the first thing that struck me about the project presented here is the linework. It's really neat, especially the last black and white sketch from Mar 13. All around the characters are defined by very angular lines, and the lines interact with each other in all kinds of ways (in clothes, silhouettes, shading, they keep leading and cutting each other to make all sorts of fun dynamics).

I feel like some of the facial expressions aren't fully fleshed out (the one of the character - Erin? - holding a gun and the one of the cutscene WiP demo both feel stiff) and there's certain oddities with the way the linework defines the character shapes (as opposed to the sketches, the sketch passes are always excellent), but overall the character art feels like it definitely knows where it's headed and your friend has some really good experience as a character artist.

So yes, character designs are consistent, and well done. Lineart set aside, they look professional-level.

The rest is more lacking, and where I would definitely focus on next. Coloring works as a color pass, but the shading, lighting and color balance on it isn't really there. You have light and dark places, but good color artists will play with their shadows and highlights to really make their colors "pop" which I'm not seeing here. Backgrounds are also underdeveloped to nonexistent but you can always use picture or have someone else do them for you if they're not your forte.

The writing, there isn't a lot of it in these screenshots, but I'm seeing a few easy to spot repetitions ("As my eyes were wandering around the room, they froze on a hooded woman sitting across the room", "I decided to intervene. Although I was going to intervene,") and the writing does not feel like the way a native english speaker would express themselves. Scenes also seem a bit cliche (girl in distress at a bar, locking eyes with a stranger and instantly feeling a deep connection) and that's sadly going to put off a lot of people.

So yes. From what I can see in this, the good is character art, designs and sketches, the weak is writing and coloring.